I Am Not Alone
by KGaki
Summary: A brief trip through Ciel's mind and what his thoughts are on how things ended, or rather, began.


_**Dragged you down below**__**  
**__**Down to the devils show**__**  
**__**To be his guest forever**__**  
**__**Peace of mind is less than never**__**  
**_

_Was it spite that drove me to curse the devil who had once sought out my very soul? He had the audacity to prey upon the head of the Phantomhive family and wanted to devour me when the contract had ended, after all. Or perhaps..._

Ciel walked through the streets of an unfamiliar region with a bored stare. Everything around him seemed to fade into a single dreary shade of gray. How could it have looked any different? He was not of that world anymore. Somehow, he would begin his life anew as the demon he was; a path of darkness etched into the cobblestone beneath his feet that would soon wear and fade with the cracks of time. But Ciel Phantomhive would remain.

A devious smile curved his lips slightly as he, inadvertently gazed at the man next to him. After the play had come to a dramatic end and Sebastian Michaelis was unable to kill him when he had awoken, he was briefly grasped by the hands of despair. He had known that feeling before, of having something precious or of value brutally wretched from such a frail grasp. It was a short lived sensation because, after all, he felt that he still had his hold over the fellow demon before him.

"_I have been given an eternal curse."_

A cold breeze swept by them, blowing those charcoal locks from that fair face, revealing an almost somber expression. Should he have felt guilty for eternally chaining this demon to his side? Sebastian had played his role so superbly and anticipated his every desire flawlessly like he had promised. If things were to play out fairly then his soul should have been eaten. Then again, it was not his decision to become the way he was, but he was determined to move forward through this existence without a shred of regret.

Those russet eyes slowly trailed to those fake shades of blue with a barely noticeable look of disdain and a raised brow of inquisition. _What could he possibly be thinking now?_ Ciel wondered as he looked forward without a word to answer the butler's silent question. No, it could not have been spite that drove him to forever bind Sebastian to him. He had gone through his life knowing a sad truth. The truth of suffering, loss, humility, and despair were things that would forever be engraved into his mind until the end of time. Maybe this demon of a butler was his only reminder of his stained humanity.

A wry chuckle passed his lips as he looked up at the sky that had been drained of its color.

There was a slightly puzzled expression that slowly etched onto the butler's face.

"Nothing that is any concern of yours," Ciel answered the silence curtly as he was quick to regain his composure.

Why did he keep Sebastian around when he had achieved all he had ever wanted? He calmed the urge to look back at the man again as he closed his eyes tightly. When the demons had fought with their lives in order to obtain him there was an unsettling feeling of loneliness. He had known the entire time how it would end, but he did not feel remorseful for that either. A curse had been lifted from him when he was reborn, feeling more like himself than he ever had in his life. It seemed so natural to awaken as a demon; he had quite a few inhuman tendencies that made him that way before. He did not belong in that world anymore.

His faithful servants, the strange company he kept, and Elizabeth... He felt as if he should have frowned at the thought but his features remained unchanged in an expression of pure indifference. A sigh now escaped through his nose as he hummed into the dull silence. There was no room for the unwarranted feeling of discomfort when he had Sebastian by his side. It could not have been spite that made him cling to him like he did.

A visible frown furrowed his perfect brow as he drew his gaze to the darkened path before him. Sebastian's footsteps echoed slightly out of cadence with his own as he followed behind him silently.

Yes, that was it. This man had become his shadow and the hands that would forever carry out his will. He did not need to be reminded of his humanity. Memories of such a time were useless fancies that he would never dare to entertain again. No matter how he chose to spend the rest of his eternal life Sebastian would be the only one to follow him into the pits of hell if he so chose. _What a pitiful way to exist._ Ciel thought with a satisfied smirk as he slowly came to a halt. His eyes aglow with a brilliant shade of red as he looked back to his butler with a mocking stare.

Spite had nothing to do with it. Humanity had nothing to do with it.

"You will remain at my side to remind me that I am not alone," he stated with a sly undertone that made the dark brow of the older man twitch slightly. Maybe ordering such a thing was showing him a sign of weakness, but none of that mattered anymore.

Sebastian, without missing a beat, knelt before his master with a gloved hand resting over where his heart should have been. He spoke, breaking the silence with a dark voice that was as soft as velvet, "Yes, my lord."

_**You should have known**__**  
**__**The price of evil**__**  
**__**And it hurts to know that you belong here**_

* * *

A/N: I wrote this after watching the end of Kuroshitsuji a while ago. I felt so empty afterwards XD So, I wrote this for my own peace of mind to add just a hint of kindness to the mix. It was never meant to be taken anywhere, so I just focused on Ciel's thoughts. :3


End file.
